I’m going to ask the reader for a favor: Please be gentle with me. God has given me the wiring to write my feelings and to process out loud, as it were. And so I am. I’m blogging rather than journaling privately in case this resonates with even one person. But I’m indulging myself–I realize this–as these are my feelings.
In her book, Unglued, Lysa TerKeurst talks says the following, which I believe to be absolute wisdom – and part of being an adult with a fully functioning frontal lobe.
“Feelings are indicators, not dictators. They can indicate where your heart is in the moment, but that doesn’t mean they have the right to dictate your behavior and boss you around. You are more than the sum total of your feelings and perfectly capable of that little gift . . . called self-control.
Many are celebrating, and nearly as many are in shock. The world is watching Americans. We have an opportunity to rise or fall as a country. I pray that we rise to the occasion. As I move forward as one of the only 20% of white evangelical voters who did not vote for our President-Elect, I am hanging on to the knowledge that I get to choose how to behave in the aftermath of the election, and as our country moves forward with new leadership.
Today, for me, mostly that means mourning with those who mourn.
Here are a few feelings that I’m having and the corresponding behaviors which I’m choosing to employ:
Feeling: I never thought I’d feel grateful that the little girls we love so much are not with us to have to panic about their citizen status, and wonder if they’d be “sent back”, an experience so many of my friends who are adoptive parents are facing.
Behavior: I will pray for and embrace those who are mourning, specifically for those who have internationally adopted children.
Feeling: I never thought I’d feel ashamed to be a white evangelical voter.
Behavior: I will earnestly try to abide in Jesus, and live like He did–eschewing religion for loving the “least of these”. I know I will make mistakes, so I’ll need to do this daily, hour by hour, moment by moment.
Feeling: I am gut-punched for the: non-white Americans, Muslim Americans, LGBTQ Americans, women, people with disabilities, refugees, and poor Americans.
Behavior: I get to love everyone as Jesus loved them. I will do my best to realize the power of my white, Christian privilege, and to listen well to those without it, since they matter just as much to God as I do.
Feeling: I am so sad that so many of my family and friends voted for Trump.
Behavior: The election is over. Trump has won. I will be loving and gracious to my family and friends, and will work to be the voice of love and reconciliation. These are not my enemies; they are family and friends, whom I respect and love for so much more than their political views. Voting is a privilege. I was able to have my voice heard. It wasn’t as loud as other voices, but it was heard–and I am grateful for that.
Feeling: I am worried for our country on so many levels.
Behavior: I will cast these worries upon the Lord, and move forward. I will be the American ambassador I’d like to see. And yes, I will pray for our new President-Elect, and his decisions regarding his cabinet, justices, etc. And? I will become even more aware and active in my local elections, where I can make more of a difference in my community.
Soli Deo Gloria!